The Study of Psychology:  Much More Simply Human Than Otherwise*
Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as
one goes on.  Samuel Butler
Hey, this meditation stuff really works.  I am visualizing the
fish jumping right into my mouth, I am perfectly relaxed and
don't have to do a thing.
Man's mind, stretched by a new idea, never goes back to
its original dimensions.  Oliver Wendell Holmes
You cannot depend on your eyes when your
imagination is out of focus.  Mark Twain
Zago, zagas, zagat.  
(I'll be sure to recommend this place to my friends)
If you smile when no
one else is around,
you really mean it.  
Andy Rooney
The buffalo isn't as dangerous as many have
thought.  It has been proven that in the United
States more Americans are killed in
automobile accidents than are killed by
buffalo.  Art Buchwald
Tu causa Es Cur Liberi Nostri Tam Turpiculi Sint

(You're the reason our kids are so ugly)
We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles
away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles
away. You could drive that in a week, but for some
reason nobody's ever done it.  Andy Rooney
A gene can be either dominant or
recessive, depending on which type of
gene it is.  Dave Barry
Ways to Manage Your Stress More Effectively than Anyone Imagined Possible
1.    Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
2.    Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of
"Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
3.    If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
4.    Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at
 the screen.  
5.    Speak only in a "robot" voice.
6.    Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
7.    Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one
 will "swipe your grub".
8.    Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
9.    Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
10.  Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
11.  Name your dog "Dog."
12.  Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep
 them tuned up."
13.  Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
14.  Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
15.  Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for
 "violating your airspace".
16.  Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
17.  Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
18.  Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
19.  Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the
 appearance of ignorance.
20.  Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
21.  Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with
 the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
22.  Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
Borrowed from an anonymous article entitled, “101 Ways to Annoy People.”
"Every man is guilty of all the good he
did not do." ~Voltaire
"Be yourself;
everyone else is
already taken."
Oscar Wilde
Cow Taming
The Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki wrote: “To give your sheep or
cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him.” In
other words, the more we try to clamp down on our awareness
and force it in a particular direction, the more resistance we get.
But if we give our thoughts and feelings plenty of space to romp
around in, they begin to tire themselves out and settle down, all
on their own. In practical terms, when you sit down to meditate,
say something to yourself like, “I welcome all that I am into this
sacred space.” Sometimes this is not easy.